The Return After My Life Changed Forever

I know it has been a while since I have shared health fitness tips & tricks with my subscribers and supporters. I apologize for the time I've been away. A lot has happened in the last few months and I am finally in a good space to share what has been going on in my life.

At one point, life just got so busy that I felt I was struggling to find the time to blog while being a full-time Dental Hygienist, trying to keep up with exercising with my boyfriend and dog, keeping up with things at home, while also checking in on friends and family and keeping in the loop.

I also realized I was entering into a dark space because I was so unhappy with my previous job. I had to make a big lifestyle change for myself mentally. I was taught a lot about stepping outside of my comfort zone in Dental Hygiene School to meet my goals. I realized that is exactly what I needed to do for ME to be happy and enter a better mental space.

I ended up stepping out of my comfort zone & was offered a new job at a wonderful office I have been at since and I could not be more thankful. I have been in a much happier and brighter place mentally. I can tell a huge difference in my mental health. It was exactly what I needed. I was so thankful for all of the support through this big lifestyle change.

One person who was especially happy for me was my Dad. He and my stepmom have always told me I deserve to be happy and treated well. They have always supported me through whatever I may be transitioning through. I felt like I was on top of the world career-wise, but at the same time, my dad had been battling cancer for the past couple of years as well.

He was the type of person that never wanted to talk about his struggles. He wanted us to know no matter what hurdles he had to jump over or through, that he was going to fight as hard as he could for his health and he didn't want us to worry. He always looked forward to hearing from us kids about what was going on in our lives and what triumphs and good news we had for him.

Unfortunately, after a very strong fight, we ended up losing him in August. We had a feeling eventually his body wouldn't be able to fight anymore, but we definitely didn't expect to lose him so soon. Our lives have changed forever.

After we lost our mom in 2006, our dad was our rock. He had 4 of us kids to take care of and be there for while grieving for his wife he had just lost. Life moves forward with or without us, even when you are grieving for a loved one, so he went back to work and made sure we were taken care of. I think back to how strong he was for us kids and how hard he fought to make sure he was providing for us and taking care of us. I couldn't be more grateful.

Don't get me wrong, there are days that I am so angry. I have had days that I question my faith and ask why us?! As if losing one of our parents wasn't enough, why take our dad now?! But one thing I also realize is that this is not about that. It is about the battle he fought and the pain he endured and didn't show. He was exhausted. He was becoming weaker. He physically couldn't do it anymore. And I realized he is now at peace and is no longer in pain.

I am so incredibly thankful for my family, friends & my support system overall. I truly don't know what I would do without them. I had been craving for time to be alone and grieve and really get how I was feeling under control before coming back to this space to write.

I was inspired this evening after being quite sick with Bronchitis and not being able to celebrate with some of my family for Christmas. I am so thankful for all of my friends and family who still made me feel so loved while I was at home. I am also so thankful for my boyfriend being my rock through all of this.

I felt like I really needed to share my thoughts, experiences and how thankful I am for those I still have with me. I hope while reading this, that some who may relate to my family's experiences will reach out. I also hope some of you reading this will realize you are not alone.

Depression and anxiety are so real. Times can be so dark. But try to remember, there is eventually a light at the end of the tunnel. Even if it may be a small light, it is definitely better than the darkness. If you are struggling with your mental health, reach out to a friend or family member who may be able to relate. You may not know how much you need that interaction until you try. But also, take the time to yourself that you need.

If you need to be alone for weeks on end, do that. Take care of yourself. Pamper yourself at home. Light some candles, take a hot bath, try a face mask. Journal and write down how you are feeling. Get extra rest. I can tell you that I personally still struggle almost daily with the loss of our Dad, but I am finally in a space where I feel comfortable being vulnerable and laying my emotions and feelings on the table.

You never know what someone may be going through. Try to treat anyone you interact with in life with positivity and a smile because you just never know what someone might be struggling with. After recent experiences, I was reassured just how important interactions with others really matter.

I appreciate you taking the time to read this post. I am truly happy to be back in this safe space. I plan to try to channel this blog into a space to come to and share new experiences and thoughts.

Please feel free to reach out, comment, or message me at any time if you may need someone to talk to. You are NOT alone.

Below is a memory of my niece, nephew, Dad, and I at the Croton Dam in Newaygo, MI. He loved the outdoors. He shared so much love and positivity. He is truly missed.